Fear and the Lazy Brain

I was asked recently how to manage “Fear”.  We all have it, but first we have to know what purpose it serves.

As a child it serves to protect you from experiences that could potentially hurt you.  As an adult, it keeps you from experiencing LIFE.

The Human Brain is very lazy. It stores experiences and then when you are exposed to a new situation, it automatically goes back to the old data bank and says “is there anything REMOTELY similar to this?”  Normally, there is, and it remembers how you coped with that event. Does not matter if you were 5 years old or 75 years old. What ever you did, you survived to be able to talk about it… so it worked!  Being LAZY, it gives you an unconscious message to DO THE SAME THING AGAIN!  Never mind that the situations are only remotely similar (think relationships here), So you repeat the dynamics over and over… which puts you in Einstein’s definition of INSANITY:  doing the same thing over and over and EXPECTING a different result.

Therefore, what is the purpose of fear?  The brain gives you fear because it does not know the outcome of a NEW decision!!!  The old one worked because you are literally alive to talk about it !  A new decision will lead to different results, and thus more life. Then you are under different rules; “that which does not kill us, only makes us stronger!”

Go up against your fears!  Live life on YOUR TERMS!  Develop compassion, generosity and Love.



In my travels I spent time with a great yogi.

Once he said to me.

“Become so still you hear the blood flowing through your veins.”

One night as I sat in quiet, I seemed on the verge of entering a world inside so vast

I know it is the source of all of us.

Author unknown


“Consequences lead to Confidence”   When you learn from your lessons, there is no need to repeat the lesson.


“You can be right, or you can be loved.  Choose”  The unfortunate part is that most people want to be loved, but will choose to be right. Choosing to be right keeps them locked in the battle of who is the bigger victim. Also, when we choose to be loved, the response is seldom immediate. The other person still might be in “bigger victim” mode, and it takes time to adjust. The good part is that over time, you have less and less conflict, less and less isolation, less and less thought and situations where you do not experience being loved.

It is pretty rare to actually here the following words  “wow, you are absolutely right from your perspective. I am going to choose to be loved here.”  You love yourself by choosing to end the conflict.  No need to be right, or the bigger victim.